Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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