What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
