Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Randomize
