We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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