is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So many bounce houses so little time
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
