you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
