And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
