If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
