i permit you to call me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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