yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
