I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
