Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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