I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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