life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I want to be your penis for a week.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
