This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
