who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
