phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
