At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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