the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
