just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
