I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you traded sex for a burrito?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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