I'm drive I can fine osifer
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
