Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
