Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
