So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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