Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
