i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
