I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
BRING THE BAGELS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
