Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
