My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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