I'm so fucking centered right now
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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