I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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