that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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