Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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