alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
