I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
