Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
