Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
