Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
