im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
