I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize