Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
