I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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