for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You're a waste of cheezeits
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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