Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
