Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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