Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
