ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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