gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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