break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
