i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
