I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize