Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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