Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
