Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize