I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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