yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
