Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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