so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
