i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm both gender and math confused
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
