forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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