Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
