I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
