whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
