This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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