Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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