i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
