I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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