About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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