A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
